Fluff and Nonsense
by Sara Loui
Summary: Like the tittle says. SJ. JPOV about a certain Major who is a little peeved at him for some reason. he wants too know what the reason is. please R&R be kind, its only fluff
1. fluff1

Disclaimer - Let me count the ways I can tell you I don't own the characters or Stargate SG1 or earn money from writing this fluff.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Fluff and Nonsense  
OK, she's giving me the look again. The 'just wait till I get you alone look' and it ain't the romantic ' so that I can ravish your body look' either. I have no idea why she's giving ME the look. She KNOWS I can't concentrate for more than two minutes when she goes off on a tandem of mumbo jumbo. She KNOWS she will have to spend five minutes telling me in layman's terms what she is taking 30 minutes to tell the General and the rest of our team. And yet she is still giving ME the look and I still have no idea what I've done wrong. Maybe its because I should pretend to be interested in her mumbo jumbo. Actually I'm more interested in her lips. Very interesting those lips. Very 'tasty!'. And then there's her jaw which is also very very interesting, and her neck, mmm a mouth uh, I mean a man can be very interested in that neck. So long and slender and...Ok so she's giving me the 'stop looking at me like that' look now. Ah so that's it, am I making you a little flustered and flushed Major? Ok ok I'll stop.  
  
Ooh look fluff, you know the kinds that's always in the air but once your eye catches sight of it you have to follow it as it falls through the air. If it catches onto your breath it does the loop de loop. Ok not good, eyes going all funny now, seeing double, Stop looking at the fluff.  
  
Why am I getting an eyebrow-raising look from Tealc? Have I managed to piss everyone off in toady's briefing? I'm not even gonna glance over to Daniel and the General. Tealc stop looking at me, it was only fluff not a funny turn. You'll bring attention too me. Yes that's right smile and turn back to Carter. Oh I'm in trouble. What the big guy turned too me I didn't vie for his attention with you. Don't look at me like that Carter, you know how it turns me on. Smile softly, wink at her. Ooh that got her good, threw her a little off. Gee's I'm cruel and certainly gonna pay for that one. Not that she stays mad at me for long. Cos I'm just a charmer, yup I could charm the pants off a donkey or in this case an airforce Major.  
  
Glance at watch while she not looking. Oh for crying out loud, hurry up and finish Carter, I'm sure they all get what you mean and I'll understand when you explain it in NORMAL terms too me. What? Doctor Jackson have I done something too offend you also? Your giving me one of those 'Your disturbing my concentration and I'm so interested in what Carter is saying looks' I haven't done anything, sitting here quiet as a church mouse.  
  
Ok gonna look for more fluff. Gee's there's a lot of this stuff about isn't there. Maybe it should be looked into. Could be anything. How come there's so much dust and fluff floating around in here anyway's? Ok so its so minute no one really notices it around but hey, I do, then again I'm not that interested in what the speaker is saying.  
  
What the speaker is wearing the other hand? Now that's and interesting past time. Undress the Speaker as they drone on. But first the rules. Never ever tell speaker you think they drone on. And never ever tell them until they are in a randy ravishing mood that you undress them in your mind. I'm sure she'll enjoy hearing it sometime. Ok is the General turning, yes yes he is. Time too look un-bored. Sit up straight, gaze at documents before you; pretend you knew what the hell was said. What was that General, have we anything too add. Well not me myself personally. Is someone watching me? Ouch Carter, did I piss you of that much? Aww you look so hot when you look at me like that. Ok making me uncomfortable Major. Smile, wink. Not working.  
  
Aww hell, what am I gonna do. Plan A: Stay and be cornered and get ordeal of very pissed off Major over and done with. Plan B: Run too men's locker rooms, stuff self into locker and wait until sufficient time has passed for pissed Major too cool off. OR Plan C: take pissed off Major too men's locker room and help cool her off. Down boy. Thinking, thinking, looks like Plan B will be it. Although store plan C for later investigation. 


	2. fluff2

What was that General, were dismissed, well thankyou Sir. Stand up, wait for CO too leave, and glance at other occupants of the room. Icy blues, ouch. Yes thankyou thankyou space monkey you always have something too ask. Grab paperwork. Head for door. Wow I made it too corridor, step up the pace Colonel. The Major is fast when she wants too be. Hold the elevator. I said hold the elevator not 'I'll catch the next one!' Morons, ok find swipe card, where is swipe card? Ahh here it, oh ok someone's already swiped theirs. A familiar hand too. Dare I turn around? The woman is fast. Still not looking happy. Ok tense situation. Dare too break it, Ahh elevator is here, cant evade it now, was hoping too scoot down the corridor in pretence of forgetting something. Oh face it like a man.  
  
Is the air dispersing in here? Isn't it warm? She still has not spoken, elevator doors shutting. Wow isn't the ceiling a lovely shade of green. Why are we stopping, we just started moving? Mental note, never allow a pissed off Major stand next to elevator controls. Am I gulping? Is she coming closer? Nice perfume Samantha. Come any closer I'll be wearing it too. If you want answers stay where u are I can feel all blood draining from my small brain to certain other parts of my anatomy, information I would rather not impart too you at this time. That would piss you off more. Swallow; yes that's right, throat not so dry now. Mmm is that citrus shampoo I can smell? Ok concentrate, she got that stern look in her eyes.  
  
"Just once, just onetime I would like to know that your actually listening to what I have too say"  
  
Ok yup she's definitely majorly pissed off. Time too counter this little attack.  
  
"When did it become base rules for a subordinate to treat their senior officer in such a manner?"  
  
Nope definitely shouldn't have said that. Mental note number two never refer to Sam as subordinate. Yes I admit it was a low blow but I'm flailing here. Nevertheless, it's shut her up, she felt that one. Checking herself maybe. Nope no such luck, she's got that 'I'm gonna make you pay dearly for that one' look now.  
  
"I always listen too what you have too say in a briefing or otherwise Colonel. I give you that much respect. And quite frankly I would like too get the same. Sir"  
  
Not good at all she said 'Colonel' and 'Sir' in not a respectful 'you're my senior officer' way but in a thick sarcastic tone that I would be proud too say I taught her. However, she's always had that sarcastic tone, I just never heard it before we started our little relationship. Ok it isn't little, it's was huge, but we kept it on the low down. This reminds me, this little tete a tete is kind against the, 'No fraternising on base' rule. Dare I mention this too her. Ok lets see, she has control of the elevator and being the intelligent creature she is she could give the people who are waiting for this elevator a mumbo jumbo excuse about why we got stuck. And what was I going too say. We were having a domestic issue? I'm sure that would go down well!  
  
"I'm sorry?"  
  
Yeah I know I said it as a question but I'm not sure where this all started or where she's going with it so I'm winging it for now. Give a guy a break. Whoa is that an exasperated look?  
  
"Do you have any idea what's going on here Jack?"  
  
Well at least we're back on first name terms that's a step forward isn't it?  
  
"Sam do I ever listen too any of the mumbo jumbo spoken in briefings?"  
  
"Is that all my work is too you? Mumbo jumbo?"  
  
Why is it women are so perfect at twisting your words. And doing that guilt trip thing as well. Are they born with it? Some womanly instinct which kicks in when they hit puberty? Hey wait a minute where are you going? Is that a back I'm now looking at? This is new. The silent treatment. Hey I haven't had my say yet! Don't you even think about stepping through those door. People on other side, well I cant chase her down the corridor can I. Can I? Im gobsmacked. Our first big argument and I still don't get what it's about. Hey weren't we supposed too have a private dinner date at Sam's tonight? It's the weekend. All this because of a stupid bit of fluff. What nonsense. 


	3. fluff3

Checking self in mirror. Yup you look fine even if I do say myself Jack O'Neill. Sam's favourite's, black short sleeve shirt and Jeans, don't forget leather jacket and of course sunglasses. She cant still be pissed can she. She was one hot headed Major. I wonder what sparked her off. Something definitely more on her mind. I hope. No way could my non- interest in the briefing room have her that P.O. Time too head over. Grab bottle from fridge. White her favourite. Anything to break her icy demeanour. Keys, where did I put my keys? Ahh there they are, ok lets go.  
  
So this is gonna be awkward, maybe I should have bought her flowers? Too late, here's her street. And she's definitely in. There's her car and her bike. Check mirror once more. Irresistible. Few deep breaths. This is how I felt when we first met for 'dinner'. Memories. Ok serious now. Ring bell, face the music. Am I sweating? No no, don't panic. Why is my heart racing? And why is she taking so long too answer the door? Ok hearing footsteps, yup there she is. Ok Jack, nicest apologetic smile.  
  
"Hi"  
  
What no hello Jack? No smile, no you look nice? Not even a small peck on the cheek? Frosty. An open door and then a slender back once more. Although a back I could watch for hours. That top is so cute. A little rounded showing a little spine, that long neck, has she flicked her hair at the back? Oh pretty skirt, very flowy, and short. Nice legs Major. Wolf whistling in my head going on right now. Yes I would like too come in. Sniffing the air. Has she cooked? Where is she going? That's the living room? Why not the kitchen or dining area? Ah now I see. So, we aren't eating tonight? About face. Still not willing too look at me? Not that I mind the back view, but the front is so beautiful too. This is just too much. Not even Sara was like this. Charlie on the other hand. He could go in the huff for hours. Just like his dad! Hot in here, need to remove jacket. Ah perfect, place bottle on her small table by the door, slide off jacket.  
  
She cant keep up the cold shoulder thing for long. Not when I run my hands over those shoulders, is that tension I feel in them. Is that because of my touch? Or because of my so-called behaviour? Or oh hell I dunno. This has completely blown outta proportion. Hey where are you going again? If you didn't want me around you shouldn't have opened the door. Fine if you want too act like a child Samantha go ahead. About face once more. I need a drink, grab bottle. Kitchen equal fridge equals hopefully beer. Put this baby back in too chill until were in a better mood for it. Ah yes beer. Right now, yup there's her paper and a nice stool for me too sit down in. She wants the silent treatment she gets the silent treatment  
  
Mmm beer tastes delicious. So this is what's going on in the real world. I get so caught up with other worlds and small grey aliens I forget the earth we're supposed too save. Gee these papers really show ya why I need to save this world. Probably why I would rather go fishing. Ok why am I still in here by myself? Why am I still at here full stop? I'm getting quite tired of this. Where did she head too? Not in kitchen, not in dining area, not in living room. Bedroom? No such luck. Ok I'm kicking off if she's in her study. Im growing very very impatient. Door closed, light blue glare appearing through the slots. Oh no she isn't! No way have I dragged my ass over here, to enter the ice queen's lair just to be cold- shouldered all night like it will teach me a lesson. However, I am also not one to turn my back and walk away from it. We are going too talk about it.  
  
Let us try subtle first. Knocking lightly on door. Straining for any sound. Ok lets try Impatient. Rapping on door now. Nope still no sound. Lets try, give her a moment to stand and open door again. Nope not happening, ok that's it, good job I've got a short sleeved top on because I'd be rolling up my sleeves. Deep breath, mental note she'll put up a struggle, be quick, be swift and be firm. Pressing open door, yes I will be invading your little private session Sam. It's for our own good. Don't be looking at me like that, from the corner of your eye. Perfect, swivel chair. Spin that round for starts, look her in the eye, make her know you are serious. Is that a defiant angry gleam in your eye Major? Tough.  
  
"We need to talk" 


	4. fluff4

Yes that's right Major, I mean business. The business of you and me. You started it and we are gonna finish it. Still nothing to say? Fine by me. You stay quiet while I move us too more comfortable settings. Yes I am pulling you from your comfortable little chair. And yes I am putting you over my shoulder.  
  
"Jack get off me. Put me down."  
  
Well the silent treatment doesn't go all the way to protesting I see, or rather hear. Oof, ouch the woman can struggle. No matter. Were not going far. Bedroom great, intimate, calms us both down. Yes that's right I'm laying you on your bed. Ouch the woman is a fiend sometimes. And that was a low blow, no poking the ribs. No were staying in the bedroom. No running away. Fine have it your way short too tying you down I'll have to sit on you. Not that I find that a problem. And stop poking. No fair. Fine I'll just pin your hands down too for now.  
  
"Jack get off me NOW"  
  
"Not until you tell me what's going on with you. Ever since our little meeting in the elevator on base you've been acting halfway between a child and hormone crazed teenager."  
  
"God you can be so irritating sometimes Jack"  
  
Well duh. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that out. Even I know that.  
  
"Still not the answers I'm looking for Sam"  
  
"You don't respect me or my work Jack"  
  
"Is this what this is all about? I don't listen too you in the briefing room and so you think I don't respect you?"  
  
"You said it yourself Jack, all my work is, is a load of mumbo jumbo. I can take that from some people, just not from you. Since we started 'us', up I don't get half as much respect as I used too. You think because we sleep together you get too loosen up on the praise and respect for my work?"  
  
Is she seeing the exasperated look on my face? Is she serious? I give her praise and respect. Don't I? Ok wracking brains as in addition, when I when I last complimented her in front of anyone. Even Danny and T.  
  
"Since when did it matter what I thought of your work? Or how often I praise you?"  
  
"You're still my senior officer Jack. We're still airforce. I need too know if I'm doing a good job or not. And when I see you blatantly ignoring me when I'm briefing people or when I've worked my ass off on a project and I hardly get a coherent word from you, that makes me feel unappreciated. The worse thing is, it all started when we did"  
  
My mouth feels dry again. Shit, she's kinda right. But it's not like I'm aware of the fact. Sometimes it's because I'm too interested in HER that I ignore the other stuff.  
  
Unpinning her wrists would now be a good idea. Just so, I can run my hands up her arms to cup her face. How long has she felt like this? Mmm-soft skin, her makeup is pretty tonight, so she did make a little effort although her frosty demeanour deemed otherwise. She's stopped struggling good, cos I am getting quite comfortable here.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner Sam? We could have done something about all this before now. Why have you gotta let things go so far before you deal with them?"  
  
Her hands feel cold, is she cold, they are covering mine and they seem cold. She does not want me to take them from her face though.  
  
"I didn't even notice it happening at first. Then when I did I just thought I was being paranoid. Then I did not want say anything to jeopardise what we have. But today in the briefing you just seemed distant. It was just the last straw Jack."  
  
I haven't really got anything too say for myself. The longer I look back at it the more I see it's true. Because we get so intimate, I never imagined I was neglecting her needs from me as a professional in our work. Yup I am a major moron sometimes. Moving closer, yup making up time. My hips are sliding against hers; her mouth is moving closer to mine. Alternatively, is it mine moving closer to hers? Who cares?  
  
"I am sorry Sam"  
  
"Me too Jack. I was acting a little immature"  
  
"Yea you were"  
  
Uh uh lips are moving away. I was kidding; nope I am not letting you go any further. Not like you've got anywhere to go anyways Carter. I'm determined to kiss you. Lets make out. I love it when you protest just a little. Oh come on open up your lips, they taste sweet. Let's get more comfortable, I love making up. Sliding down, laying by your side.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
No talking Sam just kissing and other things. Are your lips tingling like mine? Mmm a little tongue as well, tastes sweet, what have you been eating? Ohh gees your hands are still cold, do you have to run them along my chest like that. Ok keep doing that, your hands will warm up. No lips don't go, come back, I'm not even breathless yet.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
Oh for gods sake Sam.  
  
"What?"  
  
Did that sound impatient? Why is she looking at me like that? At least she is smiling that's what I like too see. Oh you wanna be on top for a while? Fine by me, cant we finish our conversation after the makeup sex and then something too eat and then after we've made love maybe?  
  
"In the briefing."  
  
Ok so I groaned I'm pretty sure it wasn't a loud groan. Pretty sure she, oww, ok she heard. Ok ok I'm listening.  
  
". You started looking a little..Weird and your eyes were roving around like your were dizzy. Was everything alright?"  
  
Ah so she even got a little concerned even when I wasn't paying attention to her, she was paying attention too me.  
  
"Yeah,  
  
"So why were you going all weird for a moment?"  
  
Ok so she's gonna giggle, but that means she will smile. I know at my expense but still, too see her laugh, today has been rough. And after she's had her laugh, Makeup time.  
  
"Fluff Sam"  
  
Why does she keep moving away, ok so she hasn't moved from on top of me. Guess it's only fair too let her have a go at the questioning. Does she have too jiggle her hips like that though.  
  
"Fluff?"  
  
"Yeah, you know the little bits of dust and stuff floating in the air. Their minute but once you focus on one little bit your eyes kinda follow it"  
  
"Are you serious?"  
  
"Totally"  
  
"You were concentrating on small bits of fluff while I was giving my brief?"  
  
Jiggling hips again Major, how do you expect me too answer when you have me in this position, and you hands conveniently massaging over my chest. When did you undo that by the way? The woman was fast!  
  
"They were interesting"  
  
Ok fingers have stopped dancing over chest, guess it's up too me too put them back. That's better closer now, fingers are warm.  
  
"You found bits of fluff more interesting than my briefing"  
  
Oh my god my girlfriend is turning into a sort of parrot. And she's grinding rather than jiggling now. OK that is it evasive manoeuvres no more talking. Yes Sam I am that good, now I have you where I want you.  
  
Lets makeup. 


End file.
